Originally the plan was to have the display boarded up with brown paper, graffiti’d with various quotes and drawings related to censorship and free speech. And that’s MOSTly how it went, although I had to ditch a stencil logo on the front for lack of spray paint/stencil-creating-patience. I draw it by hand instead, after the sheet had already been hung up. It was a challenge. Expect pictures forthright!

The Library has been in something of an uproar recently, due to some rage-quiting and then shame-rehiring. As a result everybody’s schedules have gotten completely wonky. I feel like I need to write an algorithm just to figure out what weekend I work.
But it leads to an interesting point about my place in the Library (which I am still struggling to find out). I was concerned and frustrated with the schedule change, which happened very suddenly, without reason, and extremely poorly explained. After a few insane head-achy days of Information-Silence at the Library, I spoke to J, the woman who does the scheduling, in hopes of better understanding the situation. There was some prevarication (It’s too complicated to explain! It’s not my fault, it’s the boss’! Etc.) but in the end I at least understood what was happening to my schedule, if not why.

AND THEN.

After our meeting, she called in my supervisor M (who is a totally awesome lady) for a Closed Door Meeting. Closed Door Meetings are exactly as ominous as they sound. Normally J can be heard throughout the Library when she speaks- to the extent that I’ve had patrons complain about them (which always makes me feel bad because I agree, but there’s nothing I can do about it). So the Closed Door Meeting, in this instance, is almost certainly about me. Because I asked her to clarify the schedule changes, and that makes me “negative” (a word I did, in fact, overhear from J’s office).

Sometimes I feel like I might be imagining the vibe around here, but on times like this it’s so straightforward and ridiculous, I know I must not be. If I thought I were being negative, I would absolutely put forth the effort into realigning my opinion. But when asking for a clarification of scheduling is considered negative, how can I possibly improve?

-VL

P.S. Unrelated to the post above, your Fancy Word of the Day is Ceraunoscopy.
Ceraunoscopy – divination by observing lightning or by listening to thunder. A type of aeromancy.

Bill Bailey (as Manny Bianco) singing Who Will Buy My Books Today? From Black Books.

It’s so adorable. I wish it had made it into the final cut. Other Favorite Things: Black Books! British sitcom, three series, a fast and delightful watch. Odd-Couple-runs-a-book-store, with much drunkenness and shenanigans. (Incidentally, I totally got Black Books on a whim from my local library. Library win!)

But if there’s one thing I’m finding troublesome so far, it’s the staff. They’re not mean or terrible people- in fact, I like everyone a lot. Their opinion of me, however… for reasons I can’t quite put my finger on, I feel like they don’t like me at all, or don’t trust me, or something. Something is off. Maybe it’s the fact that some of the people seem to just put up with me; They don’t like me, but they suffer my company. They make comments a lot about my ‘attitude’, whatever that may be. They think I’m too sassy, too wild. (Of particular interest is the fact that at my previous job at an organic food store I was the store nerd, totally withdrawn, square, and prudish. I read too many books to be a party girl- now at the library, I read too many books to be civil!)

I can’t figure how they came to this conclusion about me, but try as I might I can’t seem to change it. I tried being quiet and withdrawn. I’ve tried being friendly and extroverted. Over all, I’ve been polite and most of all (this, I think, is key) respectful. None of it seems to take. They’ve made up their minds about the sort of person I am and no matter how good I am at my job, I will always be outcast at this workplace. To them, I’ll always be the disrespectful punk-runt of the library.

So. Why fight it?

-Vigilante Librarian

The cake is still in the oven and when it comes out I’ll top it in jam and let you know how it turned out.

Otherwise, I’m feeling very introspective, very nostalgic. The darkness of this house, the few windows always covered, makes me miss The House. The House had so much light in it, so open and bright. This place is almost a cave. Weird, I suppose, since my room was always considered a sort of den (my sister called it The Batcave; it was always several degrees darker and colder than the rest of the house).

Being nostalgic is not at all productive right now. I’m going to direct my energies towards my chapbook and hope that funnels it all out. You know, there’s a lot I want to talk about right now, but I also feel very calm. Usually I would be bursting at the seams to let it all out in the air, but for some reason I’ve been feeling tranquil. Well, I’m not going to knock it; it’s nice to have a little peace (if only it came with a little quiet).

Another time,

-VL

The Explanation:

These adorable origami treat boxes were born out of unemployment- a combination of the Lots of Free Time aspect and the No Money to Spend on Presents aspect. Making the cookies was easy, but it lead to a bigger problem- How do I package these goodies?

I wanted to do some super classy packaging, so I scoped out Michael’s selection of boxes and bags. Impressive! And expensive. The whole cookie-giving option was supposed to save money! I decided against buying a bunch of fancy packaging that was just going to be thrown out, and opted for a simpler, still fancy approach: Origami Treat Boxes! With some holiday-flavored wrapping paper and some white cupcake cups, I whipped up these inexpensive-but-pretty boxes to serve my cookies in.

The Tutorial:

I made my first few boxes out of newspaper to test out the size of the boxes. I came up with some dimensions based on how many cupcake cups would fit, which I would then fill with treats! Dimensions are available farther down.

Once I was happy with the sizes (3×3 for my holiday parties/ninjutsu group/capoeira group, 2×2 for individuals), I cut some large squares of wrapping paper with a straight ruler and got to folding. I basically used the method shown here (scroll down), which was very easy and straightforward. My only difference was in the fourth and fifth pictures; the instructions say to “fold the top edge down and the bottom edge up” so they meet at the middle seam. If you do this with the 17″x17″ square you will have VERY deep sides indeed. Instead, just fold the sides up about 1 3/4″ or 2″. That should be enough to just pass the tops of the cupcake cups, and make the bottom area the right size.

Note on Rectangular Boxes: I used the pattern here, which is equally straightforward. I still added a layer of cardboard in the bottom, but because there were no flaps to cover it up, I had to cover it with newspaper.

While you’re trying out the pattern, keep in mind that it might not be exact- I had edges overlap and some gaps, but the finish product is VERY forgiving. If you’re nervous, try folding a few in newspaper till you get then hang of it.

Finishing Touches:

To make the bottom sturdier, I added a layer of cardboard (scrounged from soda cartons and cereal boxes) beneath the flaps; totally hidden, and much stronger.

Also, if I had had some glue (or even better, a glue stick!) I would definitely have glued the sides, flaps, and cupcake cups down to make the whole thing more stable.

To make a lid, follow the same pattern, with the same sized starting paper as the base. However, when you get to folding the sides up, instead of folding 1 3/4″ – 2″, fold up around 1 1/4″-1 3/4″. It will make the whole box juuuust big enough to fit over the base box. These would be way cute with a lid, tied up with some string!

As for the design, the sky’s the limit! You can use any sort of wrapping paper, or maybe something funky like a foreign newspaper or a magazine. Maybe instead of using cupcake cups, you use lots of tiny origami boxes, like the 1×1 size, in different paper to make a colorful package.

The Measurements:

3×3 square box (Fits 9 cups total): 17″ x 17″

2×2 square box (Fits 4 cups total): 12 3/4″ x 12 3/4″

1×4 rectangular box (Fits 4 cups total): 17″ x 12 3/4″

1×1 square box (Fits 1 cup total, or use as a carton itself!): 8 1/2″ x 8 1/2″

Sides: fold up 1 3/4″ to 2″

If you have any questions, just ask! Hope this comes to you in time to be of use this holiday!

This ALSO means that a whole bunch of people are getting cookies from me. I went on a CRAZY cookie making spree and froze the results, so I can pop them in the oven when it’s time to pass them out! I made Gingersnaps, Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip, Peppermint Chocolate, and Lime Meltaways. They all turned out soooo good, it was hard not to keep them all for myself. I think I’m going to make something else- possibly this recipe for Coconut Vanilla Balls that I found, since I have a half a bag of coconut left. Maybe some cake bites or something else adorable as well. We’ll see!

Now, the hard part- how do I package these? I strolled around the baking area of Michael’s today while I was getting yarn, and they had a nice selection of boxes… but none were really what I had in mind. Anyway, given that the cookie thing is all about saving money, I don’t want to sink a bunch into silly packages that will just go to waste. So it’s time to get creative! I’ve got some pretty rad ideas so far- origami boxes made out of wrapping paper, perhaps?

Soon after Yadi, the new dog, arrived- as well as Cybele, the kitten- the two ‘original’ cats, Palin and Pujols, spent way more time outside, rather than deal with the invaders. Palin came back pretty quickly, ’cause she fierce and also we feed her and keep her warm. Pujols, on the other hand, disappeared outside for a… month or two. Occasionally I’d see her, but one of our neighbors had taken to feeding her. Even had her bell-trained! However, one evening the neighbor was out of town, so she came begging around here for food. And we nabbed her! She’s back inside and hopefully to stay. She hasn’t made any attempt to escape- I think she really is just glad to be back inside, warm and dry. I know I would be.

If you will excuse me, I am in the middle of playing Beyond Good and Evil, which I am very much enjoying. See you later!

I have suspicions about what the dreams may mean, but whether I will heed them or not is another question. Probably I will finish the scarf and hand it over to him, and everything will continue in the same way as it does now. In the meantime, I’m going to hit the needles hard to finish this project and hide it away.

Knitting as exorcism? Sounds like a poem. A poem with gender implications.

The telephone-interviewing job is going… well? Well, it’s going, anyway. I thought for sure I was going to drop out after a week, but then I got a check and it remembered why I was doing this anyway. So far I’ve been scolded for doing sudoku at my desk, and written up for not clarifying that the 0-10 scale is bad=0, great=10. When has it ever been any other way? If I were giving a survey on, say, how much people loved squids, I wouldn’t give them a 0-10 scale where 0 is ‘love them like an artery in one of my own three hearts’ and 10 is ‘let’s nuke the ocean to get rid of them’. It doesn’t make sense! Ten is greater than zero! Anyway, anyway, the work is unbelievably boring and simple, but everybody I work with is really nice, and I can work pretty much whenever, so it’ll do until I can find a better job. (Truthfully, the thing I hate most about this job is that it doesn’t matter if I try hard or try hardly. In fact, we’re supposed to underpreform so we don’t complete the quota ahead of schedule. So instead of dialing consistently, which would at keep me a little busy, I have to be really slow at it.) (Also, I suppose I need to change my sub-header. ‘For Love, For Poetry, For Unsatisfying Employment!’ perhaps?)

To the needles!

I have, however, come to a conclusion about my chapbook, Sinister Intuition! I’d been struggling with whether or not I should re-focus the poems; right now it’s focused on my parent’s divorce and the fact that I had seen it coming for a long time. I was toying with focusing more on the family as a whole, and the weird electricity of violence that underlies all our stories. We’re not violent people, per-say, and there are only a couple incidents of violence in the family, but still, there’s a weird tension that I’ve tapped into in poetry before without realizing it. I have decided, however, that I should finish THIS chapbook first, and I can work on another chapbook, perhaps, afterwards.

Unfortunately, I think that means I’ll have to cut-out (or maybe re-write?) the opening poem “The Family Myths”. It’s a weirdly forceful poem, I’m not sure what to make of it, but I like it a lot. The further bad news is that the second poem is really weak, and is one of my least favorite poems in the book. So I might have to re-order the poems (but it took foreeeever to get them perfectly arranged like they are!) or cut that poem out too, or… well! I have a lot of work to do. Right now the plan is to tidy these poems up in a PDF file and send them out to a few people for their opinion on what works and what doesn’t. This maaaay have to wait after November, since I’ll already have one writing project on my hands.

Dustin and I also discussed the fact that it’s about time to start submitting our works to be considered and rejected. He said 22 was the age that you should start doing that, and 25 is the age you should first be published. So I should get to work on that! However, as much as I love my poetry professor at SIUE, none of them ever talked about finding magazines, writing cover letters, submitting, or pretty much anything remotely practical. I’m going to send off some e-mails to said ex-profs, as well as some classy published poets I know to get some recommendations. And then I’ll send them off! The thought is wildly exciting. Rejection letters! Heartbreak! Revision! POETRY!