Sometimes the Library and the surrounding town reminds me of that horror-standard suburbia you see in the X-Files and Twilight Zone, where in the most minor of discrepancies is cause for execution. The kind where residents get hacked to pieces by their neighbors for having a funny mailbox or a basketball hoop. A council of village elders presides over the town charter with homicidal rigidity in a classic thrilled ad absurdum.
The Library has been in something of an uproar recently, due to some rage-quiting and then shame-rehiring. As a result everybody’s schedules have gotten completely wonky. I feel like I need to write an algorithm just to figure out what weekend I work.
But it leads to an interesting point about my place in the Library (which I am still struggling to find out). I was concerned and frustrated with the schedule change, which happened very suddenly, without reason, and extremely poorly explained. After a few insane head-achy days of Information-Silence at the Library, I spoke to J, the woman who does the scheduling, in hopes of better understanding the situation. There was some prevarication (It’s too complicated to explain! It’s not my fault, it’s the boss’! Etc.) but in the end I at least understood what was happening to my schedule, if not why.
AND THEN.
After our meeting, she called in my supervisor M (who is a totally awesome lady) for a Closed Door Meeting. Closed Door Meetings are exactly as ominous as they sound. Normally J can be heard throughout the Library when she speaks- to the extent that I’ve had patrons complain about them (which always makes me feel bad because I agree, but there’s nothing I can do about it). So the Closed Door Meeting, in this instance, is almost certainly about me. Because I asked her to clarify the schedule changes, and that makes me “negative” (a word I did, in fact, overhear from J’s office).
Sometimes I feel like I might be imagining the vibe around here, but on times like this it’s so straightforward and ridiculous, I know I must not be. If I thought I were being negative, I would absolutely put forth the effort into realigning my opinion. But when asking for a clarification of scheduling is considered negative, how can I possibly improve?
-VL
P.S. Unrelated to the post above, your Fancy Word of the Day is Ceraunoscopy.
Ceraunoscopy – divination by observing lightning or by listening to thunder. A type of aeromancy.
